I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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