Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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