Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
