I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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