So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
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College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize