Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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