my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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