he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everclear isn't food dammit
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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