from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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