i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
