I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
