So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
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This house was built for laser tag.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
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Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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