you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Someone stole a lamp last night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
