is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
