I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The power of my boobs compel you
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
