let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
