he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
