I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
