I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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