Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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