how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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