You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
