i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
