Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
