I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
