i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
