some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
