Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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