yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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