Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
