I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
