You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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