I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She bit a glass in half.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
