It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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