we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
