I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
