I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
