): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said βyour lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.β
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