Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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