I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There's always time for handjobs
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
