textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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