i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
