fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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