what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
