I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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