I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize