found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
