is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
