Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
