Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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