Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
