thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
