So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome