I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister