Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
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He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(