do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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