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• (360): View more from Washington

  so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy

  (360): View more from Washington

  man i love america

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.

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• (831): View more from California

  It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics

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• (909): View more from California

  Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?

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• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where's the fun in that?

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• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (510): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.

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