May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
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i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
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I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.