its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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