WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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