it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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