I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
