and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
