it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
