we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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