He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
