you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
